Knowing that someone truly loves you is the best feeling, especially for women. But what do you do when your boyfriend or husband starts ignoring you? This article helps you understand what he’s thinking when he ignores you.
What he thinks when he ignores you: 4 common things
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Arguments and disagreements are inevitable in any intimate relationship. These disagreements will lead to the silent treatment and hatred of your spouse. But that doesn’t mean your boyfriend doesn’t love you anymore. He just ignores you.
Perhaps the first question that comes to your mind is: How can I read his mind and know what he is thinking when he ignores me? If you can read his mind, you won’t have to think that he has lost interest in you or that he hates you.
But since you can’t read his mind, you have to rely on different assumptions to get an idea of what he might be thinking when he insults you. Here are some of the most common things a man can think of when he ignores you.
1. Common Life Stressors
Man is not without desire and purpose. So, he is probably stressed and doesn’t want to share his problems with anyone. For example, he may be in danger of being evicted from his home because he can’t pay his mortgage, or maybe he has an upcoming exam that will define his career.
If your man has just lost his job or is about to lose his job, his mind will be preoccupied with the thoughts of finding another job, so he won’t pay you as much attention as you would like.
If your man is facing major stressors in his life, his instinct is to run and hide. So long, fun conversations with you are the last thing on his mind. Even in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, friendship and intimacy come after physiological needs and safety.
Physiological needs include food, water, sex, air, sleep, etc. includes. Security includes employment, health, resources, property, etc. Therefore, your man wants to feel safe before he even thinks about getting intimate with a woman. So, if you feel that your man is ignoring you, check if he is stressed.
Men have insecurities too. Unfortunately, very few men will admit to feeling insecure, mostly because they don’t want to hurt their fragile egos. Sometimes a guy ignores a woman not because he is not interested in her, but because he feels inadequate for her.
If your boyfriend suddenly starts hurting you, maybe he is afraid to have an intimate relationship with you, especially if he has been hurt by a woman before. He may also think that you are “too beautiful for him” or that he doesn’t believe that a woman like you can really love a guy like him. Also, he may be socially awkward or generally insecure around girls.
3. Work or Business
If your man leads a busy lifestyle, he will have little time for your conversations and fun conversations. This type of guy is very independent and takes great responsibility. That’s why he prefers to spend time alone. When he’s not talking to you, he might be thinking about important projects that he has coming up or is currently managing.
It’s very easy for a guy like this to believe that everyone, including you, is just as busy as he is. That way, he doesn’t feel the need to call or text you every few hours. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. You just have to learn to adapt to his busy schedule.
4. Another girl
Sometimes your man ignores you, not because he’s too busy or insecure, but because another woman is keeping him busy. Unfortunately, this is quite cruel and painful, but it is the truth. When a man finds another woman who makes him happy, he will quickly forget the previous one. So maybe he is letting you know that he is not interested in you anymore.
What should you do when he ignores you?
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Knowing that someone you love and care about is ignoring you is frustrating because it’s infuriating. It hurts even more when you know you’re giving her all your attention. But you should not feel hopeless. There are a few helpful things you can do when you feel like your boyfriend or husband is ignoring you.
1. Tell Him You Don’t Like It
Sometimes your guy will ignore you without even realizing it, especially if he’s stressed or busy with work. So, before you conclude that he’s lost interest in you, let him know how you feel and see if his behavior changes. However, don’t be too confrontational. You can use polite words like “You seem distant today – you haven’t been texting or calling often.”
When you use accusatory words, you will become defensive, which will make the situation worse. Also, don’t look desperate, as this can easily turn him off. The idea is to let him know that he has changed.
2. Try a different Communication Mode
If you’re used to him calling you two or three times a day, maybe you should try a different form of communication, like texting or chatting. He may be too busy with work, distracted, or forget to call you. Drop her a text or chat via your favorite texting app to see if she’ll respond right away.
Also, maybe he doesn’t like texting or calling during the day, especially when he’s at work. So instead of texting or calling him every hour, you should choose another time of the day when you know he’s not too busy with work. You can even ask him when he is free to talk.
3. Let it go
Sometimes the best way to deal with a guy who ignores you is to let him go. Maybe he’s hurting you because he’s afraid to tell you he’s not interested anymore. So instead of stressing yourself out, let him know that you notice the change in his behavior and that he’s free to leave if he’s not interested.
This will allow you to find another guy who will value you and give you his full attention. If he is not ready to leave you, this will give you an opportunity to talk about the situation and resolve any issues that may be driving him away.
4. Accept weakness
Often couples spend time trying to play it cool because they don’t want to offend. But it creates insecurity and can easily be interpreted as indifference. Maybe that’s why he started hurting you all of a sudden.
So let him discover your vulnerability and maybe that will allow him to let his guard down. If he’s still ignoring you, it’s time to decide if you want to continue the relationship. You shouldn’t let any guy keep you waiting.
5. Be Confident From The Word Get
Many professional relationship therapists will tell you that if you fail to communicate assertively with your future spouse from the beginning, you will have a hard time being assertive in the future. Therefore, learn to be respectful and assertive when expressing your concerns and wishes to your man. So, as you get to know each other, let him know that you want him to respond.
If you prefer to call or text two or three times a day, make that clear from the word go. This allows him to let you know when he can talk and when he can’t. That way, you can find a way to keep in touch without bothering each other.
6. Let it be for a few days
Don’t try to make up for his indifference by calling or texting repeatedly. Instead, occupy yourself with other activities, such as visiting friends or exercising. This will help take your mind off him for a few days.
If you haven’t committed yourself to him, this will be a good time to go on other dates and meet new guys. You may realize that he is not the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Is he ignoring you or are you just being paranoid?
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As mentioned above, sometimes you can judge your man harshly by misinterpreting his unresponsive behavior. Before jumping to the conclusion that he’s ignoring you on purpose, it’s important to rule out the possibility that he’s being paranoid. Take time to analyze his behavior and be objective in your judgment.
For example, if he forgets to text you or reply to your message for a few hours, find out why before accusing him of ignoring you. He might be on hold somewhere or maybe there’s an emergency and he can’t text you. In addition, he is going through a rough patch in his life. If so, you need to find ways to support her without seeming involved.
You should also understand that some guys are overly cheerful and sensitive in the beginning when trying to win you over. But as the relationship grows stronger, they become less vulnerable. It doesn’t mean that he’s not interested in you anymore, it’s just that he’s settling into a normal routine, which is a good sign.
But if you’ve talked to him about his changing behavior and he still doesn’t change or give you a good reason why he’s behaving the way he is, then he’s deliberately trying to ignore you. If so, then it’s time to move on.